If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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