I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just pynch a tree in the face
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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