I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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