Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize