I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
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i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
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I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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