This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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