[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize