he looks like a really good dad on facebook
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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