I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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