So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize