so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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