I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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