You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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