Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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