Me. At least after what I've been through.
Non-Jews are for practice
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize