What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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