please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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