I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
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Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
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I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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