Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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