he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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