Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize