Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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