Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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