ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize