Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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