I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You ate ashes out of my bong
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