i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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