I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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