im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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