i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize