i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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