Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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