Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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