There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize