I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
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I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
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he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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