Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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