Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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