I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
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We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
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And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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