A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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