He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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