Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Nicole vs. Life
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
