While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
the liver wants what the liver wants
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize