Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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