if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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