There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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