i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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