Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
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I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
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You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
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