You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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