How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
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