My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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