so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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