My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize